The Best Sound in the World

I had a check-up with my OB mid-morning on the 17th. He and I discussed a few things most importantly what his schedule would be like for the next day. I was still at a 1 and 60% effaced so it didn't appear that anything was going to change very soon. However we were heading into the weekend and my doctor was going to be going out of town until Sunday. We went ahead and scheduled an induction for the following Wednesday, the 23rd. I made sure to tell him that I go from a 7-10 in about 30 minutes and I reeeeallly didn't want to wait on him to start pushing. ;) I told him with Sam I had had to wait for him because the nurse didn't believe me when I told her that. He said we'd make sure that didn't happen this time. Good man.

I left and went to Kroger. We were hosting a glow in the dark Easter Egg Hunt on Friday and I needed to pick-up a few items, and it was St. Patrick's Day,so obviously I had to get stuff for reubens.

On my way home, Janel called and asked if I was nesting yet. Nope. I had no desire to clean anything. I'd done a pretty good job with stocking the freezer, but that was about it. We talked for a few minutes and then I had to let her go. I spent the rest of the time that I had before picking up the boys from school cuddling with Sam on my bed while he watched the Good Dinosaur, and I read photography articles. I put Sam down for a nap and headed to get the boys.

While driving home from getting the boys (about a 20 minute drive), I noticed I was having contractions, not unusual, but they felt different. I noticed they were definitely in my lower back. Crap. I called Patrick to give him a heads-up "just in case, " but told him I was going to drink some water and lie down when I got home to see if they stopped. However upon arriving home I was about to lie down when I thought, "I can't lie down. My house is a mess! If this baby is coming I have got to clean!" Thus started the cleaning marathon. I scrubbed toilets, mopped and vacuumed floors, washed windows, got all the laundry done, folded, and most of it put away, started on dinner, but my contractions became INTENSE so I had to lie down and have Patrick takeover. I had a few more intense ones and then got up to pack a hospital bag. Still hadn't done that yet, oops. I texted Mom and Holly to let them know. That I was pretty sure I was in labor and stay close to their phones.

We told the boys that I was probably going to have to go to the hospital to have the baby. They were excited and nervous, me too. We said family prayer. They asked lots of questions. So much excitement! They were worried we would just leave them at home with no one to watch them. Seriously? They have so little faith in us sometimes. Patrick promised that they were our first priority and we wouldn't leave until someone had come, whether it was Aunt Holly or Nonna and not to worry. The whole time I was thinking speak for yourself, buddy, I'm not having a baby at home, and I'm definitely getting an epidural. ;) I remember kneeling down in prayer with my 3 boys and good husband, I think Patrick offered the prayer, but I'm not certain, and I don't recall what was said. I just remember pleading with Heavenly Father that all would be well and I would return home to these boys. The older I get the scarier it some things seem.

I still hadn't heard anything from Holly at 7:30 and was starting to get nervous. I had tried calling a few times, and told myself if she doesn't call me back by 8:00, I'm calling Allison. I tried calling her one more time a little after 8 and she answered and said "Sorry!" and that she would be right over. phew. When she got here, I decided maybe I should sit down to make sure I was really in labor. I sat down and we chatted. Holly suggested I download an app to keep track of my contractions. GREAT IDEA!! We finally left close to 10. I was pretty certain I was in labor, I was just really worried they
would say go home.

I was all hooked up to the monitors by 11 and was at a 3 showing definite signs of progress since that morning. They told me they'd monitor me for an hour and then call my OB to see what he said. When they checked me again I a had dilated to a 4 so thankfully Dr. Chesney said to keep me. They started pitocin and I got my epidural shortly after that. That was painful. I have never had one that hurt, but that one...something wasn't done right. Once my contractions became more regular and painful I could definitely tell something wasn't done right. My right side was still feeling lots of the pain. The epidural had taken the edge off, but I was still feeling all the rest of it. Dr. Chesney came in and broke my water around 1 am thinking that would really speed things up. Nope. Finally around 5:30 I was feeling more pressure. They started to prepare the room and by 6 it was time for me to push. Dr. Chesney came in and made some jokes. I remember thinking it was funny but being so nervous about having a baby that I didn't really laugh or feel like talking. Isn't that weird. My fourth baby and I was on the verge of tears. I'm not sure why. I don't know if I was just scared at the idea of all that could happen, if it was the realization that this is probably my last baby and last time to do this, if it was just the final kicker in the tough pregnancy with so many scares....I'm not sure. I just remember trying really hard not to cry. I pushed maybe 5 times and we had a baby LUKE! I saw his beautiful head and heard his incredible life changing cry. Instant tears. That sound could never get old. That sound is a life driving force. The moment we live for and ache to hear while we carry and grow our babies. I don't think there is another sound that can come close to touching the meanings and feelings that accompany that incredible miraculous sound. How grateful and fortunate and blessed I have been to hear that sound.

They handed him to me. My sweet perfect boy. I kissed him. He cried. I cried. I stared at his little self. He whimpered. I prayed unceasingly in my heart prayers of thanks. FOUR BOYS! I was a little stunned, but not surprised. I'm sure that doesn't make sense. But wow. He was here after a difficult and emotional pregnancy. So thankful. And he was so cute and so tiny and so mine. 7lbs 4oz.  21 inches. He reminded me of Jack as a baby. A small but noticeable amount of dark hair. Another newborn with blue eyes...selfishly praying it'll stick. And oh so perfectly pink and healthy!

Luke meeting his big brothers

Luke, we love you. We're so happy you're here.

Snow Day Snuggles

New Bed

I had been waiting and waiting for our bed to arrive. I ordered from Joss & Main and it took it's sweet time to get here. Almost 6 weeks.  It took me forever to make a decision and stick with it...what's new? So I was so anxious for it to get here and for Patrick to put it together. I'm trying to get as much done furniture/home-wise before the baby arrives. I'm starting to feel the need to nest, but not so much in getting a room ready for baby, but getting my house ready for baby.


Anyway, I LOVE LOVE IT!!

This little stinker climbed up in my arms and fell asleep (not complaining, lovin' the big almost 3 year old snuggles!) So wouldn't you know he was the first one to get to try it out. Lucky Duck!

Baby Laurel

Sam and I were picking up a few things from the pharmacy one night when we walked by a few toys. Sam spotted this and insisted we get it for Baby Laurel. I asked him if he'd changed our mind and decided our baby was a girl now. He said, "Nope, that's Baby Luke." 

Grandma Miller

My incredible Grandma Miller passed away early this morning. Her soul and heart were two of the most beautiful proofs of goodness and love that I've ever been able to witness. She was always thoughtful kind and more than generous with her love and what she would do for others and give of herself. She lived a long and beautiful life and has left quite a legacy of love. Over the last several years her life has become more of one to be endured and not lived. When I received the text from my mom this morning, with tears in my eyes, I knelt down and offered my sincere thanks that she had finally been able to be released from her body. I will miss her so, and it's hard to imagine not going to visit her in her peaceful home anymore. Or hearing her tell me that she loves me and that I'm special. But I have hope that one day I will be able to feel her gentle arms around me and her voice reminding me that I am special.

August 2013

Bed Time Story

Another Year Older

Hard to believe I turned 32 this year. Wowza. I kept thinking I was only turning 31.

I made plans to get my haircut loooong overdue and to go and visit my Grandma Miller. I hadn't been able to get down to see her since she had fallen and been to the hospital and put in a nursing home on Halloween. She was asleep when I first got there so Mom and I went to the funeral home to see about some things, but when they weren't open we decided to get a bite to eat while we waited for Grandma to wake up.

I had a nice lunch with Mom at Gondola's while she caught me up on everything happening with G'ma. After we'd eaten and visited for awhile we went back to the Nursing Home. Sometime after we got there, Grandma woke up. I got to sit by her and talk to her about different things. She made sure I knew I was special and that Patrick and the boys were special too. My Aunt Agnes told her it was my birthday and asked if they should sing Happy Birthday to me. Grandma as weak as I've ever seen her agreed and they all sang to me, even Grandma. Mom recorded it. We were all in tears as we listened to her tender voice struggle to sing the words. That recording is so precious and priceless to me. I'm so very happy I was able to spend time with her today, to tell her I love her and feel her soft gentle arms and hands...this will probably be the last time on this Earth. So happy I could spend a short little while with her today.

I headed home around 4 and when I got home we ate some chicken tortilla soup that I had put in the crock pot before I'd left that morning. While I was gone, the boys made me a strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting. After our dinner they sang to me and we each had a slice. I am one lucky girl to have so much love in my life.

Our Baby!

Conversations this morning before taking the boys to school:

Will: Jack, today Mom will find out if she's having a boy or a girl!"
Me: Will, we aren't finding out. We are waiting till the baby comes."
Will: What?!?!!! 

hahahaha

I had my 20 week ultrasound today and we got to see our sweet baby! We stayed strong and didn't find out the gender. It was easier than I thought it would be. Everything looked good with the baby, but there was a small echogenic intracardiac focus on the heart that is sometimes seen in babies born with Down's Syndrome. So my doctor is wanting me to have a more in-depth ultrasound with a high-risk doctor in about a week. That is a little nerve wracking, but we also aren't too concerned about it. We feel good about things.

Been having the weirdest cravings lately...

I put this photo on Facebook to announce the nearing arrival of a new little sweetheart due March 27th. I'm 14 weeks today.  I've been sick and moody, and sick and moody, and sick and moody. My poor family.  I have thrown up more with this baby than any of the others. My record for throwing up in one day is 6 times. Usually I just feel horrible all day. I was happy that at least with this baby I would have good days mixed in with the bad. That helped to make it no so miserable. Finally outta the first trimester for the last time. Feels GREAT!

Mother's Day

To the ones that named me, Mom...

And the one who I call, Momma.

I love you and thank you for your part of molding me into me.

Job Perks

Samuel had been ready for bed hours ago. So when the earliest time came that I thought wasn't too dangerous to lay him down for the night, I went for it. He was being extra sweet after we'd rocked, and he'd finished his coconut milk.  I snuggled him up in his blanket with lamb lamb, kissed him, and headed towards the door listening to him babble as I walked. When I turned around to close the door and blow him kisses like I always do, he was laying there waving his sweet, chunky, not so baby, not yet toddler-sized arm and hand at me. I melted and thought I might explode for a second. I immediately thought, 'don't ever forget this moment...don't ever forget how much love you feel and fill right now.' I literally felt full. Tonight I'm feeling most thankful for that title that I so imperfectly own at times. And so thankful that I get another go at it tomorrow. I love being a mama. 

Perfect Combo

Lucky No. 7

Patrick and I have been married for seven years today. Wow. We celebrated by him leaving work early (probably the best gift you can give a wife who stays home with little kids), me finishing up the painting in the boy's bathroom, going out as a family to Chuey's (our first time going and we loved it), then to Home Depot, then to Sweet CeCe's (expensive but tasty and fun for a special night), then back home to put the kids to bed, and clean the bathroom up together. Yup. He is the man of my dreams.

Nashville Temple

Honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas

Nov 2010

Say "Cheese!"

Will has taken an interest in taking pictures lately. I often find him with my apparently not very well hidden camera. I was uploading my pictures today to the computer, and as I was scanning through the many pictures that were obviously taken by him, I was a tad mortified when I came to one that had me sitting on the toilet! I couldn't help but laugh, but sheesh! The toilet?!? Just another reminder that a.) when you are a Mom of little children, no matter how many times you may say, "I need some privacy please" you're not gonna get it (good for you for trying though!), b.) expect the unexpected (never coulda seen this one comin'),  and c.) be extra careful about the things you say and do in front of them, because you better believe they're gonna tell everybody they know, and some they don't, all about your business.

Double Date

Patrick's boss has season tickets for the Predators. Some of his friends at Cracker Barrel have season tickets too. On this particular night they were traveling, so Jeff got the tickets and parking pass for us to use.  Since there were 4 seats available, we asked our good friends, the Jenkins, to come along. Patrick's parents offered to come and stay with the kids so we could all go out.

With the parking pass, we were able to park right under the stadium. We walked right in with no lines or crowds. After the game, we stopped by Cracker Barrel to have a sweet treat before going home. We were 3 rows from the ice! It's cold down there! And the former governor and his wife sat right in front of us. The game was exciting. We won. AND Miranda and I were on the jumbo tron! Best game ever!! I think it's official; we're hockey fans.

GOAL!

Just a little fight

Hockey

Patrick's boss got us the Cracker Barrel seats for a Predators game. I had never been, and my thoughtful husband suggested a night out with my good ol' friend Miranda. I had so much fun! The seats were awesome, the game exciting, and the company was top notch. Such a fun night out!