Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter Sunday

We hosted Easter dinner at our house today. Patrick took Will & Jack to church and Sam, Luke, and I stayed home. Blake and Lauren arrived first, and then Brett. We got the last minute things ready for lunch. Mom and Joe and Holly's family came a little later. Bryce's family stopped by for an egg hunt after lunch. It was so nice having everyone here. I loved it.

I love Easter and the many things it reminds me of. This was the first Easter without Grandma Miller. I thought a lot about her. A lot of my Easter memories are connected to her. I missed her a lot today. I made her ham, and even used her roasting pan. I'm so thankful for my Savior and what he has done for me that gives me the hope that one day I will see not only my Grandma again, but be with all those I love and who are so important to me.

I was really wanting a picture of me with all 4 boys today, but could never find the right time. This so did not turn out the way I had been imagining it. Me with my four boys, but this is I'm sure a much more accurate depiction of each of their personalties when it comes to picture making...Love 'em anyway!

 ALSO! Today was Luke's due date. So happy he's already here!

7 Days New

Friday, March 25, 2016

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Can't Get Enough

I've lost all motivation to do anything but this.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Going Home

Luke wearing the same outfit his 3 older brothers have all worn home from the hospital. 

Friday, March 18, 2016

The Best Sound in the World

I had a check-up with my OB mid-morning on the 17th. He and I discussed a few things most importantly what his schedule would be like for the next day. I was still at a 1 and 60% effaced so it didn't appear that anything was going to change very soon. However we were heading into the weekend and my doctor was going to be going out of town until Sunday. We went ahead and scheduled an induction for the following Wednesday, the 23rd. I made sure to tell him that I go from a 7-10 in about 30 minutes and I reeeeallly didn't want to wait on him to start pushing. ;) I told him with Sam I had had to wait for him because the nurse didn't believe me when I told her that. He said we'd make sure that didn't happen this time. Good man.

I left and went to Kroger. We were hosting a glow in the dark Easter Egg Hunt on Friday and I needed to pick-up a few items, and it was St. Patrick's Day,so obviously I had to get stuff for reubens.

On my way home, Janel called and asked if I was nesting yet. Nope. I had no desire to clean anything. I'd done a pretty good job with stocking the freezer, but that was about it. We talked for a few minutes and then I had to let her go. I spent the rest of the time that I had before picking up the boys from school cuddling with Sam on my bed while he watched the Good Dinosaur, and I read photography articles. I put Sam down for a nap and headed to get the boys.

While driving home from getting the boys (about a 20 minute drive), I noticed I was having contractions, not unusual, but they felt different. I noticed they were definitely in my lower back. Crap. I called Patrick to give him a heads-up "just in case, " but told him I was going to drink some water and lie down when I got home to see if they stopped. However upon arriving home I was about to lie down when I thought, "I can't lie down. My house is a mess! If this baby is coming I have got to clean!" Thus started the cleaning marathon. I scrubbed toilets, mopped and vacuumed floors, washed windows, got all the laundry done, folded, and most of it put away, started on dinner, but my contractions became INTENSE so I had to lie down and have Patrick takeover. I had a few more intense ones and then got up to pack a hospital bag. Still hadn't done that yet, oops. I texted Mom and Holly to let them know. That I was pretty sure I was in labor and stay close to their phones.

We told the boys that I was probably going to have to go to the hospital to have the baby. They were excited and nervous, me too. We said family prayer. They asked lots of questions. So much excitement! They were worried we would just leave them at home with no one to watch them. Seriously? They have so little faith in us sometimes. Patrick promised that they were our first priority and we wouldn't leave until someone had come, whether it was Aunt Holly or Nonna and not to worry. The whole time I was thinking speak for yourself, buddy, I'm not having a baby at home, and I'm definitely getting an epidural. ;) I remember kneeling down in prayer with my 3 boys and good husband, I think Patrick offered the prayer, but I'm not certain, and I don't recall what was said. I just remember pleading with Heavenly Father that all would be well and I would return home to these boys. The older I get the scarier it some things seem.

I still hadn't heard anything from Holly at 7:30 and was starting to get nervous. I had tried calling a few times, and told myself if she doesn't call me back by 8:00, I'm calling Allison. I tried calling her one more time a little after 8 and she answered and said "Sorry!" and that she would be right over. phew. When she got here, I decided maybe I should sit down to make sure I was really in labor. I sat down and we chatted. Holly suggested I download an app to keep track of my contractions. GREAT IDEA!! We finally left close to 10. I was pretty certain I was in labor, I was just really worried they
would say go home.

I was all hooked up to the monitors by 11 and was at a 3 showing definite signs of progress since that morning. They told me they'd monitor me for an hour and then call my OB to see what he said. When they checked me again I a had dilated to a 4 so thankfully Dr. Chesney said to keep me. They started pitocin and I got my epidural shortly after that. That was painful. I have never had one that hurt, but that one...something wasn't done right. Once my contractions became more regular and painful I could definitely tell something wasn't done right. My right side was still feeling lots of the pain. The epidural had taken the edge off, but I was still feeling all the rest of it. Dr. Chesney came in and broke my water around 1 am thinking that would really speed things up. Nope. Finally around 5:30 I was feeling more pressure. They started to prepare the room and by 6 it was time for me to push. Dr. Chesney came in and made some jokes. I remember thinking it was funny but being so nervous about having a baby that I didn't really laugh or feel like talking. Isn't that weird. My fourth baby and I was on the verge of tears. I'm not sure why. I don't know if I was just scared at the idea of all that could happen, if it was the realization that this is probably my last baby and last time to do this, if it was just the final kicker in the tough pregnancy with so many scares....I'm not sure. I just remember trying really hard not to cry. I pushed maybe 5 times and we had a baby LUKE! I saw his beautiful head and heard his incredible life changing cry. Instant tears. That sound could never get old. That sound is a life driving force. The moment we live for and ache to hear while we carry and grow our babies. I don't think there is another sound that can come close to touching the meanings and feelings that accompany that incredible miraculous sound. How grateful and fortunate and blessed I have been to hear that sound.

They handed him to me. My sweet perfect boy. I kissed him. He cried. I cried. I stared at his little self. He whimpered. I prayed unceasingly in my heart prayers of thanks. FOUR BOYS! I was a little stunned, but not surprised. I'm sure that doesn't make sense. But wow. He was here after a difficult and emotional pregnancy. So thankful. And he was so cute and so tiny and so mine. 7lbs 4oz.  21 inches. He reminded me of Jack as a baby. A small but noticeable amount of dark hair. Another newborn with blue eyes...selfishly praying it'll stick. And oh so perfectly pink and healthy!

Luke meeting his big brothers

Luke, we love you. We're so happy you're here.