Letter to My Baby

I try to write letters to each of my kids on their birthdays. This was something my mom always did for me. Each of us would write letters for whomever on their birthday for the FHE that was closest to their birthday. Samuel turned 1 in February, and I still haven't written that letter! I've thought about that several times since then. Tonight, when I was carrying him through the yard mesmerized by his cuteness, I decided it was a priority.

My Little Sunshine, 

Today is not your birthday. You are now 15 months. But I want you to know that I love you more than ever, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. Although you have lately become a HUGE fan of your Dad, and I'm left playing second fiddle a little more than I like. When you were born I rarely put you down. I didn't like sharing you. You are the first baby I kept to myself so much. Your poor dad had to admire you from my arms a lot more than he liked, but because he didn't want to get his head bitten off loves me, he didn't put up too much of a fight and just let me love you and cuddle you all that I wanted. You have been good for my soul. You are a (mostly) happy little thing, and your dad and I seriously don't think babies come any sweeter than you. However, let it be known, you can have a temper at times, but it is likely that is purely genetic. Sorry about that. I do think it is something you can and will come to control better in time. So, no excuses. ;)

You are a very friendly baby. Last week at Will's K graduation you let a sweet lady, Janice Solomon, hold you through the entire ceremony. You made her day! You have often walked up to complete strangers (to you), and put your arms up indicating you want them to hold you. You are one lovable boy! You fall asleep in my arms almost every day before your morning nap. It is SO hard to lay you down. I love how you feel in my arms. I've heard my Grandma Miller say, while holding babies, that they just feel so good in her arms. Well, Samuel, you are a chunk, but you feel so good in my arms. You learn quickly and do your best to keep up with your brothers. For the most part you listen and do your best to follow my instructions. When you are told "no," I see, with mischievous in your eyes you considering not listening, but you generally do. We will see if that sticks, I'm hopeful it will! You love to be chased. I will roar at you and you completely lose it--giggling and toddling as fast as you can in the other direction-- you absolutely love it! You are brave and independent, but oh how you make my heart sing when you reach up to grab my finger before we go outside.

You have recently started signing a lot. I was thinking you weren't going to be as big of a signer as your older brothers, but you have really started to do it a lot more lately. You know and use the signs for Mommy, Daddy, thank you, please, more, milk, airplane, dog, bird, no, bye, and all done. The words you have learned to say are Ma-Mommy, Da-Daddy, more, nana-banana, dah-dog, ta da, yay, and me-you use this word when we ask who wants to say the prayer. You raise your hand and say, "me" and smile the biggest smile. You have seen your brothers do that so many times you know the answer and you know how we react--we all just stare and grin at your cuteness and innocence. 

You love your big brothers, but I think Jack is your favorite right now, probably because he doesn't try and pick you up as much as Will. Jack does however take toys away from you quite often but you have lately been holding your ground a little more with him. You have started to let him know that you are getting bigger and not going to be treated that way even though you are smaller than him right now. Good for you! You love music (or any repetitive noise for that matter) and LOVE to dance. You will immediately start bouncing your body and waving your hand in the air. I danced with you in the hospital when you were brand new and many many times since, so naturally that must be why you love it. ;) You also really love wind chimes. If we are outside, I will often find you by the wind chime in the back yard trying to figure out away to make it clang. Sometimes you carry a small plastic shovel and hold it as high as you can to hit it, and sometimes you take a gutter extension off. You almost always hate getting in the car and going places. Being the third, you have missed many a nap time or had them end early due to having to go somewhere and pick someone up. This has also been a reason why you have had to stay in a car seat for such long periods of time. You are a a trooper though and get taken advantage of for it. I'm sorry, but a Momma's gotta do what a Momma's gotta do. Rest assured I don't like it anymore than you. 

Well, I'm almost certain this is the longest of any letter I've written to one of my babes. So I should really go ahead and stop.

Samuel, I want you to know that I love you. Before I became pregnant, your Dad and I prayed a lot to find out if we should have another baby. We wanted to, but we were scared. Will had been so so unwell for a good portion of his life and still was having frequent seizures. We knew that was something a future baby could possibly face as well. I prayed for several months before I received what I felt (and still believe) was divine inspiration. I love you. I am so so thankful you are here, a part of our family. I don't know what challenges you will face and what your future will hold, but for whatever does happen, know that you are loved beyond measure by me...by your dad, by your brothers, and most importantly by our Creator--your Heavenly Father, and His Son.

You have my heart, 

Mommy