2011

As I have been thinking over the year that was 2011, I've had a lot of emotions flood through me. I remembered tonight, as we rung in the new year at Julee's last year, someone saying something along the lines of "good riddance to 2010. " Many of those that were present and heard the comment agreed. Some made comments about what difficult times they or someone they loved or knew had been having. 2010 wasn't particularly horrible for us, but it certainly wasn't any picnic. Don't get me wrong there was plenty to be grateful for, but it still had been tough.

Enter 2011...pretty sure the hardest yet. So many nights I cried myself to sleep. So many prayers for more faith, patience, and reprieve I uttered. So many times I fought back emotions as I tried to explain, answer questions, and make sense of what I didn't understand. I hate remembering those really hard days. It's just so hard to go back there. To think about how scared we were nearly every minute of the day. How unfair it was! How when things would start to get better they almost always got way worse. Sometimes life is just h.a.r.d. and really unfair. Period. And it's ok to acknowledge that. It's not our job to "fix"it and try to reason the pain away.  I try to focus on the incredible progress that Will has made, and how much we love being together and going and doing things.

So it is that I'm a little weary to send this year off with a  "good riddance." I hope I have learned what I needed up to this point, and pray that next year won't be a refresher course or an advanced level class. I am sad to see it go. It has ended on such a high, high note with so many hopes and expectations of all the good that awaits our family. I feel like we are living again and not just surviving. And while things are not perfectly perfect if there is such a thing, we are together.